Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
