Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
