Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
