some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
Randomize
