Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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