And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
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