Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize