So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
Mom said you looked used
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
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