I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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