I'm at breakfast still drunk holding a blow up parrot
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Idk if I want to put a bra on
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
