quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
