Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
