His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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