wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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