it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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