it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
i have a $600 bill for my ER visit in which they did nothing but suggest to me that i am an alcoholic.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Getting high magically turns headaches into rainbows.
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
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