somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
