id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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