Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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