Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
