I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
