i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
