Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Randomize
