do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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