I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
