Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
How's work?
Spinning.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
