i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
