if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm drive I can fine osifer
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
dear sober me, don't br the first to open the fridge in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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