Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
