Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
