Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Green mimosas i think yes
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
