some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
