i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
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