i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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