My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
