Yo dont text me then not text me
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
