May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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