It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Randomize
