So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dignity is for republicans.
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
