I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
