Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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