; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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