i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
handjob tips. give me some.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
dude. I can hear the air.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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