I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
