My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
