This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
My mom got me high and then dropped me off at a church.
I've abandoned trying to find a logical explanation of your life.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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