first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
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