So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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