Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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