i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Randomize
