I feel like I'm in dance class right now
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
So much rum. So many feels.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
