Already got asked if we're dating
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
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It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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