I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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