Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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