its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
