I am puke
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
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