Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
