I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
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