Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
